If there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

THE DARE

Get two sheets of paper and a pen. On the first sheet, write down some positive things about your spouse. On the second sheet, write down some negative things about them. Place both sheets in a secret place to use a later date. During the day, pick one attribute and thank your spouse for this characteristic.

THE OUTCOME

This dare was a huge eye opener for me. Especially the past couple days, I have been focusing on the negative things. When times are tough, I think it’s easier to focus on the negative than the positive. Even though it was much easier to write the positive list than the negative list. The positive list was also longer than the negative list. Now that I can see on paper that there are a lot of reasons I still love my husband, it makes it easier for me to be grateful for him. When you are focusing on the negative, it is harder tobe grateful. It is also harder not to nag, be irritable and just enjoy my husband. I am not going to share either of my lists because they are supposed to be secret. But I will say that I am more grateful for him today than I have been in awhile.

I had something creepy happen recently which made me rethink some things. I was really close to pulling every personal post on my blog. But then I realized that’s not what needs to happen. I basically had someone emailing me who is apparently a married 29 year old man. Now my thoughts on this are, if you are happily married, 1. Do NOT email strange women at 3 am. 2. Do NOT comment on that woman’s pictures. 3. You should go rent Fireproof.

Now because of this endeavor, I set down the Love Dare. I wanted to be able to have a place to document but I didn’t want to do it privately. So tomorrow I am going to pick up the book and begin where we left off. The results will be posted tomorrow evening so check it out! If you don’t have any clue WHAT I am talking about, you need to get on the bandwagon.

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning,

it will be reckoned a curse to him. (Proverbs 27:14)

THE DARE

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.

THE OUTCOME

Last night I sat down with Stoney and I asked him, “what are three things that I do that make you uncomfortable or upset you.” Of course this is a question I was thinking about all day. I am very sensitive and wanted to prepare myself not to justify or attack him. His answer just got me giggling. He said “well you never make me uncomfortable. You do irritate me when you bake or cook something and don’t rinse it out. But that’s it.” So I decided to give him my own thoughts on what I do to irritate him.

1. I nag him about his drinking and chewing. I can actually live with the drinking. It’s the chewing that disgusts me!
2. When I’m mad at him or hurt, I don’t talk to him and I will hang up on him.
3. I am a terrible backseat driver when it comes to him!

So there are my three things that I recognize. I think that it is just as important for you to realize what you do to your spouse as it is for them to. I know that when I try to tell him what he does that bothers me, he gets defensive and won’t admit it. Then this turns into an argument which seems like an endless circle.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me…

How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them,

they would outnumber the sand. (Psalm 139:17-18)

THE DARE

Contact your spouse during the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you can do for them.

THE OUTCOME

I spent most of the day with Stoney yesterday. But I did have to help with some girl scout stuff. During that time I text him to let him know that I love him and if I could do anything to help him. He was at home with the girls while I was gone so I was grateful for the time I had to get my own things done. I also got to have “adult” time! Did I mention that I am doing a little better with holding my tongue. I did get upset when I was taking a nap and he let Kam scream. Which woke me up. I generally don’t take naps but I am not feeling well and I really needed a cat nap. But I explained to him how I felt and left it at that without being negative!

If you would like to join me on my path to truly loving my husband, join me here.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. (Romans 12:10)

THE DARE

Invest in your spouse. Continue to restrain from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says “I was thinking of you today.”

THE OUTCOME

Today was a great day! I spent the day with Stoney. We went to the grocery store together. I was going to surprise him with beer because that is one thing I nag him about. But he already bought some. I had no idea what to buy! But I wanted to put some thought into it. That afternoon, I took a trip to the post office to  mail a package. That’s when it hit me! I ran down to the store and picked up a BBQ kit for my wonderful husband! I got him a long lighter and the tools he needed. It was perfect. When I handed it to him, he just smiled and I could see the excitement in his face. I just love this man!