The Morris Bunch Blog » Life in a Fairytale

Forgiveness

Gena — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:59:07 +0000

After talking to my counselor yesterday, I discovered something! I learned how to truly forgive. The last 7 years, I have forgiven the same mistakes on many occasions. I did what I thought I had to do to keep my family together. I thought the reason he continued to repeat the actions was because it was something I did. The last few weeks, I have realized it has nothing to do with me. He was making these mistakes way before I came along. He will continue to make the same mistakes in the future. I don’t regret the last 7 years because I have some amazing kids that came from it. I also learned valuable lessons.

LESSON 1

Forgiveness is essential in a relationship. You will need to forgive many times over the years together. When you find that you are forgiving the same mistakes over and over, that person does not truly want forgiveness.

LESSON 2

Dishonesty is NOT to be tolerated. I’m not talking about “Oh yes honey this chicken is delicious” as he is feeding it to the dog. I am also not just talking about outright lies. Omission is a lie! The person you are with should be your best friend. The person that you can say anything to without fear. The moment you start to hold back, you are saying, “You are no longer to be trusted.”

LESSON 3

Trust your instincts! Women know. Every time I had doubts and had that sick feeling come over me, I was made to feel like crap for having them. He made me feel guilty for ever doubting his “love” because all he ever did was work hard for our family. When I mentioned these to his family, I would get the “He worships you, loves you so much and would NEVER do that.” Then I would find the evidence. They stuck to their guns and pushed me to forgive for his mistakes. Even this last time as he walked out the door, I knew there was another woman. I got the guilt trips for even thinking it. Nearly 2 months later, I found out I was right. Never doubt your instincts and let someone make you feel guilty for it!

LESSON 4

My expectations are not too high! Yes, I want it all! I want someone who puts God first. Someone who is honest, loving, caring, compassionate, and romantic. Someone who is my best friend and will always take my breath away. I will not settle for less.

There is no perfect marriage

Gena — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:44:22 +0000

On the outside, we had a perfect marriage. On the inside? Not so much. Yes, I have been quiet. I have said a few things here and there but I have been quiet. Mostly because I was trying to stay on good terms with my soon to be ex husband. I also had to get to a place where I was not acting out of anger. The truth is, I had a distorted view of what marriage is supposed to be. I thought you were just supposed to work through anything. I did that. I tried. I have forgiven my ex for many things. I have stood by his side through many things. Am I perfect? No. But no one deserves to be treated like this.

A marriage is supposed to be two people. Not one person constantly looking for something on the side. I assumed that “infidelity” must happen in marriage and no one talked about it. I have since realized that there are people out there that value marriage. You just can’t allow your history to make you bitter. You have to take that chance at love. It’s worth it. There may not be a perfect marriage but there is a marriage that is built on trust. Marriage can truly be wonderful with the right person. That person would be willing to die for you before even considering the idea of looking at another woman.

As I go through this divorce and learn more about myself, I rely on my faith to keep me strong. I know that God has a plan and that in the end, His will will be done. I have faith that through this trial, I will rise to the top and come out stronger than ever. As for the people that don’t understand what a marriage is supposed to be? I will continue to pray for them.

It’s the simple things in life.

Gena — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 03:53:00 +0000

Late night chats. Asking how I am doing. Just listening. Laughing. It’s all the simple things in life that make everything worthwhile. There are a lot of hard things that we have to go through but knowing that you have a friend at the end of the day is the best feeling. It’s what I want in life and it’s exactly what I have. With everything I have had to deal with in the last couple months, I could have broke down. Instead I chose to be happy and happy is exactly what I am.

I found that happiness in the only place a person can truly find happiness. In God. I left all my pain and heartache to him to handle as I moved forward. Once I did that, magical things happened. I found myself and I have started to finish the puzzle pieces together. All I need in life is God and my family. The rest of the puzzle pieces just fit together to make life even better. I didn’t choose the path that I found but I am choosing to continue down it. The beginning of the path was rocky and not pretty. The part of the path that I am on now is breathtaking. Just like a good workout, I am finding strength within the further I continue. I will continue to get stronger through it all. I have found real happiness.

Mom Tips 101: Duct Tape and Diapers

Gena — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 19:20:16 +0000

I don’t know why my children insist on being naked but they do. Myles has recently decided that he prefers his diaper off. Apparently it’s easier to reach his favorite toy while watching Spongebob. Think Al Bundy naked. Oh what fun little boys are! Remember this is all new territory to me.

So what’s a mom to do when her baby keeps taking their diaper off? Bust out the duct tape! He wasn’t too thrilled with the idea but his diaper is firmly staying put. Of course I got the pretty color too. Now I hope that he either becomes interested in potty training or I will be investing in cool duct tape!