Today as I step on the scale and see the numbers I have been wanting to see, I don’t take pride in it. Quite the opposite actually. In under a week, I have managed to get to my goal weight without exercise and without eating right. Actually I haven’t eaten at all. Well a few bites here and a few bites there. Yesterday I was finally able to eat a little more. I haven’t chosen not to eat. Anytime I would try to eat, I would just get sick. I was stressed out.

Last week, my husband decided that he needed space. Our marriage has never been easy. We’ve had our fair share of issues like everyone. I’m not here to say what a complete jerk he is for walking out on his wife of 6 years and throw his kids into an emotional tailspin. I love him with everything that I have. I really believe that the devil is just working in his heart. In addition to this, the kids have had the stomach bug. I’ve spent 3 days cleaning up puke from not just 1 or 2 kids but all 5 of them!

Thanks to the stress, I have hit my goal weight of 125. The problem? I am not feeling great. When you lose weight, you are supposed to improve your strength. Instead my body just isn’t getting what it needs. I’m worn down. I’m tired. I can feel it. I am losing weight but I am losing myself. Being healthy isn’t being skinny. It’s about eating right. Being active. It’s changing your lifestyle to be stronger and feel amazing. That’s what I am going to do. I am taking control and I’m not doing it anymore. I am focusing on everything I need to do to stay strong and take care of myself. Why? Because I have 5 kids that are depending on me to be strong. While I want to break down inside, I will only show them smiles.

How does your family support your weight loss efforts?

I can’t help but laugh at this. Apparently, family helped the weight loss efforts. Honestly, Stoney’s always been supportive. The kids get right down to doing squats and stuff with me. It’s a lot of fun to watch them and I just end up laughing.

I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women