Posted by Gena in Life in a Fairytale | 14 Comments
I hate being reminded that my preemie baby is behind…
When Myles was born at 35 weeks, we knew what to expect. We were told that he could have developmental delays and learning disabilities. We were prepared for an extended hospital visit and complications with nursing. Since that remarkable day, he has proven everyone wrong. Obviously we did not get through everything without some hiccups. He had jaundice, high respirations, issues with breastfeeding and more. But we overcame them all. We took things hour by hour and then day by day. Now he is 5.3 months actual age and 4.1 months adjusted age.
At every appointment, we have great visits. He got to stop being compared on preemie growth charts as of his 4 month checkup. When we go over his development charts, he has appeared to be on the lower scale of full term babies. But he was in that scale. Because I knew a lot of people who did have babies within a month or two of having him, I find myself comparing. Yes I know, the ultimate NO-NO. Especially since these babies are full term babies. But when I hear babies that are a month younger than him doing things, it’s hard.
I think the hardest part was today. I went to the WIC office and there was a lady with a baby the same age as Myles. She excitedly ask if he was trying to get around the house yet. I shook my head. Then she said, “Oh well is he rolling everywhere?” Once again I shook my head. Truth be told, he has rolled from tummy to back a handful of times. I know he can do that and I was so excited when he did do it. I recall setting my girls up in the boppy at 4 months to support them while sitting and then by 5 months, they were sitting on their own. I try to put him in the boppy and he just doesn’t have the head control yet.
Another thing that I know is that he will do it in his own time and boys are generally slower than girls. He gets plenty of tummy time. He isn’t even close to doing mini push-ups yet. He gets tired easily when holding his head up. So it doesn’t last long.I know I should be happy that he is doing so well but at the same time I want to cry. I know that God has it in his hands and if there was a true reason to worry, the doctors would be on top of it. I guess I just got used to being one of the moms that had babies doing things early and it’s hard being on the other end of the spectrum.
Every child is different. i can empathize. My daughter was a slow learned. She had a speech impediment as a toddler and needed speech therapy the first few years of school. She is also an IEP student. I hated when she was compared to other children.
Hang in there.
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Thanks Rose. I’m comfortable with the speech impediments and IEPs! My oldest and 4 year old both had them. It really is hard when you are thrown the comparisons. Thanks.
Hang in there Gena. He will do it in God’s time. And guess what? if he doesn’t, that’s ok too. Myles is perfect in every way. He can not be compared to anyone because he is HIS own person. Everything that Myles does is at the exact perfect time for Myles. You are an AWESOME mom!
Thanks Sherry! He is definitely perfect!
Hi Gena,
This is the first time I stopped by your blog. I am glad I did. When I was pregnant with my daughter I went into preterm labor at 7 months which resulted in me having to take beta blockers to stop the contractions for the duration of my pregnancy. From then on it was me on bedrest. I had gestational diabetes and was insulin dependent. Unlike many expectant moms I didn’t find out I had gestational diabetes until I was 6 months pregnant and 45lbs of weight gain later. I was told there was a risk she would be born with elevated sugars etc because of that. Long story short, I ended up having her 3 weeks and 6 days early. 1 day shy of being deemed a preemie.
Let me back up and say that my sister had her first child roughly 2 years prior. Her daughter was the most advanced walker and taker I have ever seen. At my baby shower her daughter was under 2 but walking around and talking like a 3 year old. Everyone was astonished.
Needless to say that when it came time for my daughter to make the milestones all I did was compare her to her older cousin. I thought there was something wrong with her. She didn’t walk until she was about 18 months. Family members would ask me if everything was ok. Depressing needless to say.
I want to also add that my same sister who has the child I used to compare my daughter to was also pregnant at the same time as me – she had her son 7 days later. He was born via c-section and spent a week or 2 in ICU for fluid in his lungs. He seemed to be behind my daughter developmentally….Now I hate to say this, but he is farther advanced than her in certain aspects – mainly reading. While my daughter can talk it up with the best of them the girl just excels in areas other than reading!
Unless your little cutie really shows signs of being way way behind I wouldn’t worry. He probably has other things on his mind. He is probably absorbing it all in now and will use it to wow his mommy down the road in other aspects of life. You’ll see!
Sheesh – sorry for my novel of a reply! BTW, “ewe” on the slaughter house part time job your hubby works. I used to live by one – ewe.
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Thanks’ Jamie-Ann. That means a lot. I’m going to focus on being positive about his development and remember that in the end, he will do great.
PS It really isn’t THAT bad of a job! LOL He loves it. I just couldn’t visit when I was pregnant or I’d be sick!
Hi Gena, This is my first time stopping by your blog and am glad to get a chance to visit. Your little Myles is so very adorable and handsome. The pictures that you posted are beautiful. As you probably know, the preemie scale can be used up until 2 years of age. So Myles was very, very, young when taken off of the scale. Maybe they should have waited to see if he progressed to a higher percentile on the standard scale prior to taking him off. When my first child was young, she hated tummy time and would never pick up her head….she just cried until I caved:) Well I purchased a beach ball and blew it up and put her on her tummy on the beach ball (holding on at all times:). It was not as taxing as being flat on the floor and I could give her assistance depending on her position on the ball. She whined and cried at first, but I persevered and she eventually enjoyed being on her tummy. Hang in there, Myles will get there in his own time!
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Thanks Zippy. Myles actually doesn’t mind tummy time. He is perfectly content hanging out on his belly but tires out quickly. They charted him on the preemie growth charts until he made it to the regular growth chart. Of course we don’t worry too much about the charts as long as they have their own arch. Main reason is because they aren’t accurate for an exclusively breastfed baby. I’m going to talk to his pediatrician on Tuesday about ideas on getting him to do different things. Thanks!
I’m back to blogging
I know it is so hard not to compare. I do that often with Aubrey. Remember how worried I was because she wasn’t talking? Now she NEVER shuts up!! She was also a late “roller” and crawler. She didn’t roll until 4 months & didn’t crawl until almost 10 months. He is adorable & will do things when he is good & ready!!! 
Valerie´s last [type] ..Life These Days
Hi there
I am a mom of two girls, one who was born at 29w 6d (spent 8 weeks in NICU here in Canada) and the other at 37 weeks. My preemie was delayed for a bit, as per normal but is now almost four and completely caught up. Just remember that all children are different and develop in their own time:) I can definitely relate to all you are going through and am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you travel this journey with your little man!
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I can understand that a little. My daughter was always way ahead of other kids but my son was the complete opposite because of his hearing loss (caused by his birth experience/high risk pregnancy/not breathing at birth/being wrongly diagnosed by a specialist early on) It’s extremely difficult to go from one end of the spectrum to the other. I often feel guilty (like I could have prevented it somehow) and sometimes it makes me want to cry so I feel for you too. I often feel horrible that everything has had to be such a struggle for my son.
But you know what, these boys are such huge blessings. My son teaches me so much about what’s important in life and he doesn’t even realize what a little fighter he is. Your son may take his own sweet time but eventually in other ways your son will be the one that inspires others.. and what a story that will be.
Your son is completely adorable by the way.
Thanks so much Miranda! I think that’s my biggest issue. Knowing what it’s like to have a baby crawling around at 5-6 months then having a baby that can barely roll.
I can’t wait to see what this little guy has to teach me after everything the girls have taught me! and Thanks!
He is such a dang cute little guy! I know it’s hard {HUGS} but pretty soon you’re going to look back on this post as he running through the house thinking…. why in the world was I worried?!
It’s so easy to compare our children to other’s and I’m completely guilty of that. My son didn’t talk til he was almost 3! I hated moms talking about this and that and he said this and she said that… my kid was talking jibberish and I was sad.
But now I can’t get the kid to stop talking lol.
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Gena, (I know you know) I know how hard that is! It was so hard being on my month board with Ryan hearing about what all the other babies were doing…and then he didn’t crawl until he was 16 months or walk until he was 25 months, etc. But then I was so thankful that he was even alive that I really tried not to dwell on it. Even now it is still hard sometimes…seeing kids younger than him that are able to do things he can’t, like put socks on or snap their jeans…little things like that. It has definitely gotten easier for me, but I still have my moments!