33 Weeks 4 days! Preterm labor SUCKS!

I was feeling pretty good before. Last night some things happened personally that started to stress me out. I just wish people would realize that when we said NO STRESS that meant NO STRESS. There are people in our lives that cause a lot of stress. We have chosen to leave it where it be and not worry about them. Afterall, this isn’t about anyone but OUR family. All other family members are just going to have to get over it. Instead they started on Stoney last night. I felt so terrible because he was doing great and honestly I need him to keep doing great! Who else am I supposed to lean on right now? When he came in off the phone and then continued getting text messages, you could just see all his strength and everything taken from him. This was exactly why he didn’t want to tell these people what was going on in the first place! My heart ached for him. But as the night progressed and I noticed he just wasn’t himself, it began to upset me even more and in the end I was the one stressed out about it. I am still incredibly stressed over it. We are away from our daughters. We are away from our home. Of course we are blessed to be able to stay with his brother who is the best. But this is still a very stressful time for us. He is not working his second job and he is stressed over that. He is obviously worried about Myles and myself. Plus he is trying to stay up beat and positive for me. He is a fantastic man and I love him dearly. But to see him stressing over nonsense stuff is really going to upset me. I am already moody with being off my feet and missing the girls. Plus the pain on top of it and the stress of how healthy is this little boy going to be. I am going to start firing off like a canon and it’s not going to be pretty! I am hoping by getting this off my chest to my friends here, it will help me be able to finally relax about it. For now this is my sounding board. My safe place. The best part about it, if you don’t like what I have to say than seriously bug off!

Now that I said what I needed to say! I will let you all in on what’s going on today. About 3 am I woke up contracting. No I don’t know how far apart they are because I’m not timing them and I just try to breathe and focus on other things to try to relax. I know I’m not feeling all of them because well that’s just how it is for me. We have decided that we will go to the hospital when they put me into tears or I just have a feeling that I need to go in. So far my instinct has not failed me yet when it comes to knowing the right time to go in. Stoney woke up and got me some water and rubbed my back. I changed positions over and over just to get comfortable. I finally went in to take a bath. I couldn’t feel them as badly in the bath but the minute I got out, I could tell I was feeling them still. I went and laid back down and played on Facebook and the Blackberry for a bit. Finally at about 6:30 I was so exhausted that I finally was able to sleep. I knew that no matter what my body needed the sleep so I can stay strong. I woke up a few hours later and the contractions weren’t as bad and they were back to the way they were before. I had already decided if they kept going or were any stronger, I’d go in. My biggest fear right now is getting stuck in the hospital for weeks and not having the strength my body needs. I am comfortable where I am at and actually able to sleep. If I don’t feel a contraction, then I don’t know it’s there. That is a huge bonus cause I am not watching the monitors for them. I can also relax because I am not hooked up to the fetal monitor! Let’s just say Myles is so low that we have the bottom of the monitor on my thigh so it can be right next to my pelvic bone. Just a week ago we were getting his heart rate up by my belly button. If I moved or if he moved just the slightest, we’d have to adjust the monitor which was not easy being that low!

The food is also a huge YUCK. I have no appetite. If something sounds good, then I try to eat it so I can keep my energy up. I eat small meals. But when you don’t have a choice or you have to tell them what you want for dinner right after breakfast, it’s not easy! I don’t know what I’m going to want 5 minutes from now! So Stoney usually goes to eat a lot. That racks up! Well I just got the call! Grandma is on her way over with the girls. I can’t wait to see them. Thank you to everyone praying for us. It truly means the world to us!