Ashley is in 5th grade. This is the second year that she has entered into the History Fair. For those who don’t know what the History Fair is, it’s a research project that kids enter similar to a Science Fair. The girls created an exhibit on Benjamin Franklin. Last year they did Christopher Columbus. I have enjoyed helping the girls when they need it but most importantly, watching them learn.There is more to the project than just trying to win something. It teaches kids valuable lessons that are extremely important.

Teamwork

Working as a team is a necessity and should be taught early on. It isn’t always easy to work as a team on a project because we are all so different. But by teaching the girls to really think about what they can offer and bring to the project will be an invaluable lesson. It helps the girls learn to identify positive traits in themselves and each other.

RESEARCH

This should be an obvious lesson. They will learn how to research topics using all sorts of sources. This will really come in handy when they go through the rest of school. It will also help teach them critical thinking skills that can be used even as adults. When the girls need a little guidance on how to research, I offer it to them. I show them different ways to conduct their research. I teach them how to use what they already know. Then I challenge them to find more. They have done this and it is a proud moment to see my own daughter talking about using Google or other research methods.

Of course there are more lessons that are learned. But this year I found that they were a little discouraged. Instead of being 100% proud of all the hard work they put into their project, they were discussing other’s projects. There seemed to be a common theme. PARENTS. So and so’s dad did their project or this person made it to Nationals because their mom did it. So let’s get this straight. My 5th grade daughter is competing against an adult! That does not sound right at all. I understand it is a huge project. I also understand that you want your child to succeed. But is it really their success when you did it? I don’t think so.

Honestly, I think this is damaging to a child’s confidence, self esteem and a huge hit to their pride. By completing projects or homework for them, they learn that their parents don’t believe they can do it on their own. When they are able to do it on their own then it teaches them so much more! Even if they fail. Last year the girls didn’t get the greatest score. They forgot some things in their checklist. So this year, they learned to really watch that checklist and make sure everything is there. This year they placed 3rd and made it to Regionals. How great is that! I was so incredibly proud. I could see their confidence just beaming. I kept reminding them over and over throughout the process that they should be very proud of themselves for doing it on their own.

So now I am curious. Do you think it is fair when a parent goes beyond “guiding” when it comes to tasks? Do you think that a parent just doesn’t realize they have taken over? What are your thoughts? Have you ever went over and beyond to help your child succeed?